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許許多多的研究都關注於婚姻成功的祕訣，然而也許我們也可以從一些婚姻路上失敗的人身上得到許多很棒的建議。BuzzFeed拍了一個影片，訪問許多離婚者，談談他們從自己失敗的婚姻上所學到的東西。

影片看起來其實非常的窩心，而且你可以看到這些人有多希望他們能夠早點知道這些維持婚姻的祕訣。看看這影片吧~這影片絕對值得觀賞，有點令人驚訝，但這十分感人的。

不過如果你真的沒時間看影片，下面五個重點可以學學~

1. 認識自己、愛自己

在影片中，你可以看到許多人都提到了好的婚姻中，很重要的一點就是愛自己。如果你不懂得愛自己，那麼你也不會懂得如何愛別人。不幸的是，由於害怕變成單身，讓我們忘記了關注於自己的工作、自己的健康、或是自己的娛樂享受。但我們忘了當我們關注於自己、愛自己才會讓自己更吸引人。

2. 小心的溝通

在這影片中，你看到受訪者說:說出去的話是收不回來的，也因為這樣，溝通更顯重要。在一些婚姻中會遇到的重要討論議題上，例如:金錢、孩子的教育、生活的態度等，有直接的溝通是非常重要的。如果你覺得OK的話，你也可以試試婚姻諮詢，讓彼此的溝通更透明。

3.做彼此的好朋友

熱戀期終究會過去，但是友誼不會。愛情中的化學作用的確很重要，但是最好的婚姻是建立在友情之上。

4.  記得小事物

每個人都會希望偶爾當你工作上升官了能有個surprise晚餐，或是當你今天過得很辛苦時能收到一個”我愛你”的簡訊。這些小小體貼的動作都很重要的!

5. 持續有性行為! 

JL碎念:

我非常相信第二點與第四點! 我覺得這文章其實也不是只適用於婚姻，其實與家人相處也是如此。太多時候我們在最愛的人面前卻說出最狠的話，最忽略了他們的感受，其實那是多大的傷害。人生就是許多小事情中組成的，也因為這樣，小事情中更能觀察到太多的愛與細節。去愛八~~~~~~人類們!!

原文在這裡:

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/divorcees-marriage-advice

There are plenty of studies on how to make your marriage work, but some of the best advice might just come from people who have been there—and know exactly what happened that made things go sour. BuzzFeed put together a video of divorcees giving their best marriage advice based on what they learned from their own failed marriages. It’s actually really sweet and thoughtful, and you can tell the people in the video wished they knew a lot of these tips going in. See for yourself

The video is definitely worth watching (it’s really heartwarming, in a surprising way). But if you don’t have the time, here are the five main pointers from people who have loved and lost… and learned a thing or two along the way:

Know Yourself and Love Yourself
This first piece of advice is essential to having a good marriage, and multiple people in the video repeat some version of it. If you can’t love yourself you definitely can’t fully love someone else. Unfortunately, the fear of being single keeps a lot of us from taking the time to focus on our career or health or just having fun, but you’ll be a way more attractive mate and partner in your marriage when you do.

Communicate Carefully
Once you say it, you can’t take it back, so communication is key, one of the women in the video says. It’s a good idea to have an open line of dialogue so you can hash out important issues like money, kids and lifestyle, but if you aren’t totally on the same page, couple’s counseling is always an option. More and more married (and non-married) couples are trying it out with successful results.

Be Each Other’s Best Friend
While the hot and heavy honeymoon period of the relationship doesn’t last forever, a super close friendship will. Although chemistry is important, thebest marriages are built on friendship.

Remember the Small Stuff
Who doesn’t want a surprise dinner when you land a promotion or a cute “I love you” text when you’re having a rough day? The little things can matter just as much as the big things in the long run.

Don’t Stop Having Sex
And the last tip is the kicker – never stop having sex. As one women in the video puts it, “if you’re keeping track of how often you have sex, you’re not having sex enough.” Studies have shown the secret to a long and happy marriage is sex, sex, sex. So if you need to turn things up a few degrees, here are the best sex toys for couples, and 6 moves for better sex.